Illuminant 11B Vanex Tsui
"The illuminant in dark fears no more.” It was not until this moment literally being the illuminant standing in the dark that I truly understood what this meant.
~7 days ago ~
”No! Stop right there! That should be pronounced with a ‘T’ sound not a ’D’." exclaimed Teacher Cherry.
I was standing in the middle of an empty classroom with my partner Aaron, as I heard Teacher Cherry interrupt my lines for the thirteenth time I tightened my grip to the script in my sweating palms and almost crumbled them.
"That’s it for today! Both of you seem stressed. We will do this again on Friday.” She finally announced.
I slumped onto the nearest chair and took a few large gulps of water. For the past seventy minutes Aaron and I have been repeating our mc lines for the school's Graduation Ceremony in a week's time. This is by far the largest event the school has ever held, so being the mc for that night I am determined to give my best performance. Though in fact, this idea seems to be limited to my imagination, as according to my current performance the final product is far from the best. This is my first time going onstage. It was this idea that kept messing with my head and that I could not shake off to concentrate on my practices.
"Get a grip of yourself, you can do this. I'll see you tomorrow." Aaron assured me as he swiftly packed his belongings and left the classroom. My eyes followed him as he strode off. Aaron was always so confident and so brilliant onstage for that I envy him. I was never an outgoing person, I see the spotlight as a threat and I fear to stand onstage in the middle of the dark when all the lights are off...
~The Big Day ~
No better did the situation turn out throughout the seven days and here I am now standing backstage ready to face the crowd in minutes. I can hear the beats of my heart echoing in my chest, feeling the numbness in my fingers clutching at the microphone, feeling the pressure from the crowd behind the curtains.
"Hey look at me.” Teacher Cherry suddenly whispered at me.
“Don't let the fear consume you. Everyone has to experience many of their first times in life but once we overcome it and look back, we realize how silly it was of us to make such a great deal about it. Outside the curtains you may be unfamiliar with the surrounding darkness. So think of it in this way, in a dark forest you no longer need to be in fear of running out of light because the spotlight trails you, you are the illuminant itself. Not to mention that you are not in a dark forest but in Pui Kiu College where all your friends and teachers are here to support you." She spoke steadily looking into my weary eyes.
Being reminded that I am still in the very school I spent the past five years in I saw not a threat to go out there, my nerves finally soothed and my trembling muscles stopped fidgeting with my legs. Throughout my years in this building I have faced many different challenges, all of which I made through and this is indeed just another one of them allowing me to grow stronger. I need not panic.
"Now go." Teacher Cherry gave me a nudge and a comforting smile.
I took a deep breath and stepped into the spotlight. Then the fact came to me--this is not frightening at all! -— I let all the fear stay behind the curtains and faced the crowd with a dauntless smile."Good Evening Ladies and Gentlemen! I am Van...”